Oct 28, 2010
Thanks for having me over tonight, JoJo – and happy Halloween, everybody!
So, as we all know, Halloween is awesome. It’d be even more awesome for me if I lived in, say, Florida, or Pennsylvania, or anywhere we don’t get two inches of snow on Halloween every other year. Yeah, that’d be fantastic. Because, oddly enough, while most of the country gets to enjoy a wide variety of costuming options, we folks in central New York tend to dress up like... Eskimos. Or Cruella DeVille. Or Storm Troopers, gorillas, lumberjacks – anything that involves layers and/or fur. By October 31, it’s bloody cold out there.
I live in a small town. Our family traditions have always included donning our elaborate homemade (and warm) costumes, piling into the car and driving to the town proper. We spend a few hours traipsing around knocking on doors with scads of other town families – the kids lining up at the doors, the adults hanging back and sharing sips of liquid fire from discreet flasks, rubbing our reddened hands together and trying to cup our cold noses against the wind. The last trick-or-treat stop is always the house on Church Street next to the Presbyterian church, where the elderly man who lives there is always on his porch in his Santa suit, giving out candy canes AND Hershey minis (double candy bonus... from Santa!).
Then we proceed to the firehouse, which gives out cider and donuts (and hot coffee for the frozen adults) and lets the kids climb all over the equipment, and from there it’s across the street to our local Stewart’s for a free... ice cream cone. Because who doesn’t want ice cream when it’s 40 degrees outside? Nobody in our town!
This year my son is 14, and my nephews who always join us are 14 and 12. So this year we’re starting a new tradition. We’re going to load our pockets with candy from the dollar store, drive to the bigger small town 20 miles away, enter the nice, warm movie theater with our bootleg candy, butter-drowned Styrofoam – er, popcorn, and ridiculously overpriced sodas, and watch Saw 3D. But when we want someone else’s candy, we’ll say “Trick or Treat” instead of “Hey, gimme those Twizzlers, you already ate half the bag!”
Yeah, I could get used to that.
By the way, when I’m not freezing my a** off, I write books. I think the next one in the series (which is set in central New York) will include a cold Halloween, a little too much to drink, and some accidental magic that invokes a permanent climate change.
Master of None
One unlucky thief. One unlikely genie. One very odd couple.
Gavyn Donatti is the world’s unluckiest thief. Just ask all the partners he’s lost over the years. And when he loses an irreplaceable item that he was hired to steal for his ruthless employer, Trevor—well, his latest bungle just might be his last. But then his luck finally turns: right when Trevor’s thugs have Donatti cornered, a djinn, otherwise known as a genie, appears to save him.
Unfortunately, this genie—who goes by the very non-magical name of “Ian”—is more Hellboy than dream girl. An overgrown and extremely surly man who seems to hate Donatti on the spot, he may call Donatti master, but he isn’t interested in granting three wishes. He informs Donatti that he is bound to help the thief fulfill his life’s purpose, and then he will be free. The problem is that neither Donatti nor Ian has any idea what exactly that purpose is.
At first Donatti’s too concerned with his own survival to look a gift genie in the mouth, but when his ex-girlfriend Jazz and her young son get drawn into the crossfire, the stakes skyrocket. And when Ian reveals that he has an agenda of his own—with both Donatti and the murderous Trevor at the center of it—Donatti will have to become the man he never knew he could be—or the entire world could pay the price… .
Win a paperback copy of Master of None. Anyone can enter – I’ll ship it wherever it needs to go. Even if it’s cold there. Happy Halloween!
**MUST FILL OUT FORM BELOW
MAD LIB GAMENow Let’s play a game. Todays game is Mad Libs! Oh what a hoot they can be! So read mine,Then everyone can vote on them on Halloween day so make sure you go and play. Email your Mad Lib to jojo @ jojosbookcornerATgmailDOTcom Please put WARLOCKS MAD LIB in the subject
To join in on the Mad Lib fun click HERE
Here is Mine:
The Warlock’s Halloween Revenge
This Halloween, Bob the witch - well, actually, he was a warlock, a squishy warlock - wanted a very bland costume. He was tired of the other witches (or warlocks) typing at him. In the past he'd been a frenetic werewolf, a blue vampire, the main character from his favorite movie Free Willy, even a rusty fairy. But did anyone ever say, “Crippled costume, Bob!” to him?
No, they didn't. They all just slept at him, and one time they made him wear a staircase on his back all night.
But this year, it was going to be different. This year he'd have his poorly deserved revenge on all 520 of the other witches (and warlocks) in his coven. Because he had a spell to create the ultimate costume. He'd found it in Burger King, under a vase. The local tribe of Rastafarians had assured him it would work.
Bob gathered the ingredients he needed for the spell - a stalker, an Area 51, a pinch of peanut butter, and a dash of Scotch. He mixed them together in an old Toyota and spoke the enchantment:
"Bubble, bubble, captures and trouble,
Banana burn and almond bubble,
Mists of rack and tense rocks,
Give me something to knock their socks!...off."
There was a high-speed flash of light. And promptly, Bob turned into a diamegnetic Carrot-Top.
He smiled into the mirror. It was going to be a baking Halloween.
*Sonya will be stopping by through out the day to chat.
So say Hi
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